March at Experienced Goods
By Jennie Reichman ~ The thing about days off is, when I am in the middle of one, I always want another. Like eating a homemade chocolate chip cookie, the pleasure of an unstructured day to myself stretching before me dwindles the closer I get to the end of it. Like savoring that cookie, I want the expansive luxuriousness to go on and on, to keep stimulating my brain’s pleasure centers with chocolate and possibility. Today as I write it is a dazzling sunny day after a snowstorm, shadows on the snow are sharp and slate-colored, a perfect artist’s rendering of Vermont at its most beautiful. This weekend I have been talking by phone to old friends who live far away: one who lives in Washington state, one who lives in Nebraska, one who lives in Wisconsin. I have spent on average two hours on the phone with each person, time to catch up on each other’s lives, time to remember what we did together when we lived across town from each other instead of across the country. It feels like such a luxury to lounge on the couch with a cat on my lap, not clock watching or task planning, listening to the voice of someone I hold dear and laughing together like we always have. I make time for these calls with these particular friends about once a month, with texts and emails in between. They know my history and I theirs, they forgive my foibles and mistakes and celebrate what we have learned through the years as well as dream about what might come next.
Lately I’ve been all the more aware how vital it is to maintain these friendships and how quickly someone I care about can be gone. In early February my ex-husband Steve passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Our marriage was challenging and did not end well, and I had not had contact with him for the 15 years since our divorce. I have stayed in touch with some of his family members, however, and learned from his daughter via Facebook that he had gone in for a scheduled open heart surgery that was not successful and resulted in his heart not being able to function on its own. He was put on life support and died a day later. A shock to say the least, sad, weird, upsetting, hard to get my head around. All the memories of our relationship, good things, hard things, swooping in like crows and settling in the branches of my mind, chattering and squawking. Contained in the certainty that I had moved on with my life and did not really want to make contact with him was a belief that if I did want to, or if he did, he would be there, living the life he had built for himself after our marriage dissolved. That he is no longer in the world, a world he was enthusiastically engaged in, feels impossible.
The upshot? Talk to your friends. Have lunch, go to a play or concert, spend hours on the phone. Say “I love you” as you hang up. Do something together you both enjoy. My friend Hannah and I go thrift shopping almost every time we visit each other, even though I work 40 hours a week at Experienced Goods and should really have had enough of the thrift store vibe by the time I have a day off. Thrifting with one of my best friends is a completely different experience than the hours I spend at my job, though. Shopping with Hannah, I’m pulled into the thrill of the treasure hunt, the oxytocin-releasing pleasure of a great find. We laugh and talk as we riffle through the racks and shelves, and I realize again how a store like Experienced Goods has a myriad of different functions that go beyond simple shopping. The items customers purchase are often secondary to the relaxation and pleasure they feel in the store, and maybe the bonds they are strengthening with the people they came with.
On this gorgeous, snowy winter day, standing on the leading edge of March and springtime, I am grateful for the increasing light in the afternoons and the pretty pastel and bright colors that are slowly showing up on the racks of clothes at Experienced Goods. Soon it will be spring cleaning time (Remember us! We look forward to the uptick in donations that comes with the spring organizing bug!), St. Patrick’s Day (get your green on!), Easter (Bonnets? Ducks? Bunnies?) and then, heaven help us, swimwear season. If you are in home improvement mode while waiting for spring, consider checking out our new tool section tucked into the book room: Shelves and bins of screwdrivers, hammers, tin snips, pliers, most of which are only a dollar or a little more. And surely there will be at least one more good snowstorm in March, so don’t put away the shovel or ice scraper yet. Or if you don’t have one, buy one from us!
When you have a day off, enjoy it, when you are with someone you love or like, hug them. Bake cookies and savor every one.