Some Thoughts on Connection
by Eileen Glover ~ With Serious Illness Program (SIP) volunteer training over (for now), and having gotten caught up on calls, follow-ups, errands, intakes, and emails, I found myself with a day with no appointments or meetings. I jumped at the opportunity and started in on those piles that were building up around my office. One of the piles within a pile was feedback that had been given at the end of SIP support groups. I sat down and took some time to really review the comments.
My heart warmed as I read the feedback. Our model here at Center for Solace (CfS) is peer support. In our programs a peer group facilitator is simply “holding the space” and allowing people attending the group to support and share with each other. Going over the feedback filled me with emotion and highlighted some of the special aspects of peer support. I’d like to share some so that others can gain a better understanding of the benefits of SIP peer support groups.
People shared about what they found helpful about the groups and how it has impacted them. Here are some of the benefits they described:
Resource and information sharing
Feeling safe
Seeing how others are dealing with things, either the same or differently
Getting to say the stuff I can’t say to a friend or loved one
Healing
Receiving the understanding of others
Being able to talk about how friends may be freaked out by my illness or getting tired of hearing about it, or not remembering that I have limitations
Being with others who understand what it’s like to have a life-threatening illness. Others in my life just can’t conceive
Real life connections
Talking about how “helpers” sometimes make more work by not realizing what’s needed and how it takes so much work to get them to understand
Not needing to keep up “the front," we’ve all had our bad days here
True understanding of the trauma of illness
Venting frustrations
Seeing how others are moving through their process
Talking about whatever we want
Knowing that frustrations with the medical system are more common than you think
Compassionate listening
Sharing common ground
Laughter!
This type of sharing time together has benefits that go far beyond the obvious. Something magical happens in spending time together that is hard to describe. I’ve heard people say they feel “seen," “supported," and “connected." In these stressful and strange times we are all living in, human connection is so important. Here at CfS we are working every day to create opportunities for the connection that we all need.
In the Serious Illness Program, we will continue to offer peer support groups and other activities for folks to meet up, find that connection and acceptance, and have some fun. There is a walking group that has just started up, and we have a book club in the works. We are planning on our writing group making a comeback. Individual time with volunteers also offers that sense of connection in addition to the practical help provided. It’s hard to describe “connection," but we know it when we feel it.
The volunteers who make this all possible are the heart of our program. They spend time one-on-one with people, facilitate groups, create activities, help out at Experienced Goods, and much more. The kind offerings of their time and talents are true examples of community inter-connection.